Retirement Plan

I don’t like getting up early
I don’t like staying up late
don’t like running round in circles
don’t like to hurry up and wait

Come on MegaMillions
Come on Powerball
I need to hit it big
So I can live a life of ease
just like a muddy pig

I may be able to retire
when they lay me in the grave
but I’ll probably need a part time job
helpin’ Peter at the pearly gates

So come on MegaMillions
Come on Powerball
I need to hit it big
So I can live a life of ease
just like a muddy pig

Heavens Turn

I walked out to watch the sunlight fade
a crescent moon pursued
and so I stayed
to see if the stars would follow suit.

The heavens turn too slowly
there were demands on my time
so I had to go back in
before I saw them shine

Deposit

Scramble up the last of the eggs
wash them down with ice water
got through the week without having to beg
as rare as winning the lottery

Broke on the day before payday
a tradition that just won’t go away
sitting and waiting is all you can do
with the Where’s My Direct Deposit Blues

Was it too many bills
not enough overtime
too much riotous living
were you the victim of a crime
if financial husbandry
is beyond your ken
there will be many
weeks when

You’re broke on the day before payday
a tradition that just won’t go away
sitting and waiting is all you can do
with the Where’s My Direct Deposit Blues

Good Intentions

The field sobriety test was a fail
never was good at walking a line
so I take my mail at the county jail
til I pay off the fine
Guess I got a little too free
now I’m learning responsible
wish I’d listened closer
back when I was in school
This sweat dripping off my nose
is a sign of my good intentions
making up for stuff that happened
when I wasn’t paying attention
If hard work never hurt anyone
why does my back ache
how long is this likely to go on
before I get a break
Temptation is a poor companion
it’ll pester you until you give in
take you from the top to the bottom
then convince you to do it again
Three steps up and two steps back
is not the greatest progress
tangled up in your own tracks
til you end up in a mess
This sweat dripping off my nose
is a sign of my good intentions
making up for stuff that happened
when I wasn’t paying attention
If hard work never hurt anyone
why does my back ache
but I’m gonna keep keeping on
until I get a break

Medium Social

I like turtles
I like dogs and cats
I like cleavage
don’t hate me for that
I like sunrise, beer and steak
and all the pictures that you take
of your little baby cakes
I’m just a medium social guy
but I can’t help wondering why
Why can’t the world be a safer place
why don’t I have a prettier face
why is it so hard to ever win a race
why doesn’t everyone keep the Golden Rule
why don’t people in positions
of responsibility
really looked out for the interests
of folks like you and me
that would be so cool
I like turtles
I like dogs and cats
I like cleavage
don’t hate me for that
I like sunrise, beer and steak
and all the pictures that you take
of your little baby cakes
I’m just a medium social guy
but I can’t help wondering why
Why it’s easier to be critical
than it is to be correct
why do I keep taking the easy way
when I know what to expect
Folks been talking about Judgement Day
for a couple thousand years
why aren’t they more nervous
when it seems to be drawing near
I like turtles
I like dogs and cats
I like cleavage
don’t hate me for that
I like sunrise, beer and steak
and all the pictures that you take
of your little baby cakes
I’m just a medium social guy
but I can’t help wondering why

Unqualified

I can not claim to be
anything but a mess
it may be my only
unqualified success
I wouldn’t even want to
hazard a guess
as to how many times
my little heart’s been blessed

I don’t mean any harm
I’m just marginally aware
of hundreds of things
that other people care
about, and it often
bites me on the derriere
even though it’s my own fault
it makes me want to swear

Just a creature of habit
many of which are bad
loyal to the traditional sins
our ancestors had
if it was not available
to my grandpa or my dad
I leave it to the younger set
No one ever called me “rad”

Not really a bad guy
just not good for much
this 21st century
has me feeling out of touch
I keep stumbling along
not looking for a crutch
though I wouldn’t mind some answers
if you could call them such

Small Shrine

Thinking about things
that Nature abhors
vacuums and politics
and revolving doors
resistance to gravity
must be on the list
so I’m not sure
what to think about this
tiny cairn that I find here
work of a passing
artist or engineer

No Stonehenge, just a small
shrine to our insistence
to make some mark
on our existence
how long it may last
no one can say
but I honor the impulse
and let it stand today