Hack Hacks

Wishing is more fun than working, but less effective.

The struggle is real, even if it’s all in your head. Your head is real.

Don’t try to drown your sorrows, the damn things swim like fish.

Never pass up a chance to go back to bed.

It’s better to give than to receive advice.

Sometimes you have to unplug to recharge.

Life Coach

Waiting for time to eat
waiting for time to drink
waiting for time to go to work
leaves too much time to think

When you have a lot to do
there isn’t time to get it done
when you’re just trying to get to tomorrow
you get cursed with a motionless sun

Money is an issue
when it comes to spending time
if you can’t afford to buy some fun
you feel guilty of some crime

Days turn into weeks
in time the bills come due
and you sit and wonder
how you’ll make it through

Suddenly the years lie
scattered like fallen leaves
take time to celebrate
take time to grieve

Make time for a good nap
that’s my favorite approach
you probably won’t hear that
from a professional life coach

As you wait for time to eat
and wait for time to drink
wait for time to go to work
it’s better to dream than think

Endangered

I’m feeling like an endangered species
longing for the twentieth century.
My cultural references go unrecognized,
memories I share cause a rolling of eyes.
Conversations I hear have foregone conclusions
they seem pointless as hip-hop country fusion
I watch old movies and shows on the tv station
because the new ones are mostly poor imitations.

I’m feeling like an endangered species
longing for the twentieth century.
The reaper keeps swinging that deadly blade
we keep saying good-by to connections we’ve made
til it gets a little lonely on the open trail
remembering the shelter that never failed
but keeping on keeping on seems to be what we do
even when we’ve got the endangered species blues

The Booger Man’s Lament

Happy Halloween!

Folks look at me kind of funny
because I look kind of scary
my face is kind of lop-sided
I may be a little too hairy
there’s a hitch or two in my git-a-long
my back has a little hump
but is that any reason
for people to see me and jump?

I will admit to peeking
into windows at night
cozy families make me warm & fuzzy
I don’t mean to cause a fright
and I’m really fond of children
I don’t want them to be afraid
they’re so lovable and sweet
especially sautéed

I guess it’s just my destiny
to be misunderstood
no one seems to want me
to live in their neighborhood

Inventing

No funds for fun
has me twiddling my thumbs
semi-desperate for amusement
No time for crime
makes me think that I’m
not really what you’d call malcontent
Just stumbling along
with some off-the-wall song
rattling around in my head
when it’s all over
I might be in clover
I might be ill-clothed and underfed
So come on sing along
what could go wrong
I wouldn’t do you that way
The best things are free
come and do some, you’ll see
we might invent a new holiday

Kinship

I feel a deep kinship
to all God’s creatures
except maybe the venemous ones
the ones with stingers
or excessive fangs and claws
ones with more than four legs
or less than two
more than two wings
the creepy crawly slimy ones
that hide in strange places
that don’t have fur or feathers

Okay, may not be quite
at one with nature.
St. Francis might even
call me Assisi

Attitudes

Got a little pep talk from the management the other day, this popped in my head later in the shower. Sometimes it’s just for fun.

I got my new attitude
ain’t gonna be rude
gonna be productive
gonna be conductive
gonna help anybody
that asks me for a hand
gonna speak so simple
idiots will understand
ooh wah ooh wah
got my new attitude
ooh wah ooh wah
cause under my clothes, I’m nude!